July 2020 - Give InKind

How To Build A Give InKind Page for Someone With Chronic Pain

The purpose of Give InKind’s Care Calendar is to organize people to give and receive support in one centralized location. Here, learn how to set up a support page for someone experiencing chronic pain of any kind.

Getting Started

Depending upon the extent of the pain, your recipient may need different levels of support, and for variable lengths of time. Sit down and talk to the person in need of help to best understand what is useful. (See a sample Give InKind page for chronic pain). Chronic pain can be debilitating and may lead sufferers to feel isolated. Community assistance is a welcome gift.

Care Calendar

For sufferers of chronic pain, managing daily tasks can be difficult. Depending upon the reason for the pain, timelines will be different. For example, if someone is waiting to have back surgery, the timeline for care may be possible to forecast. If, the cause of the pain is more difficult to resolve it may be more difficult to anticipate the length of the care that is needed.

Food: In almost every care calendar that is created, meals and groceries for the family are always among the most popular calendar items. Make sure to ask about and note whether there are any dietary restrictions. Are there allergies? Do they like meals that arrive ready to eat or are the more the take-out food type?

Childcare: People who are experiencing chronic pain often report that they get tired easily. If they have kids, managing busy schedules can be hard. Driving or standing for long periods can also be challenging so travel soccer games are hard. Don’t forget you can create slots for other kids if they do different activities.

Pet Care: Does the recipient have a dog that needs to be walked? If that is too difficult, see if neighbors can take turns. If there aren’t enough people to help, consider doggy daycare. Don’t forget about things like litter boxes and birdcages too.

Home Services: Lend a hand with general check-ins. Arrange coverage for a long-scheduled home appointment or a housecleaning.

Other: “Other” is the ultimate catch-all category. This is a great way to create opportunities for connection. People who have trouble moving around easily report feeling isolated because it is an effort to move easily around. Make a plan to visit and have an in-home movie night. Let your recipient know that they are thought of, loved, and included in plans.

Fundraising

There are lots of expenses associated with a condition like chronic pain. Lost wages add up. So do the expenses that accrue when bills cannot be easily covered. Out-of-network expenses to see medical experts are common for diagnoses that are hard to make. If there are children, childcare is sometimes necessary and that adds up. If there is a need to raise money, simply enable the fundraising button on your Give InKind page and connect your PayPal or GoFundMe account.

Wishlist

The Give InKind Wishlist is a way to identify, and easily click and send useful items to your recipient. Find items patients in a similar circumstance have found helpful. Peruse a list of items selected by the Give InKind team. When you see an item that could be helpful, use the “+” icon to add to your Wishlist.

You may also add an existing Amazon Wishlist to your Give InKind page.

Communication Preferences

Use Give InKind’s do-not-disturb section to let others know about a patient’s preferences. Keep in mind that these preferences can be easily turned on or off as a situation evolves.

Phone Calls: How does a patient like to communicate – a phone call or text? Many people who experience chronic pain report feeling left behind. Many appreciate a text or even a call. Ask about whether they like the phone or not.
Visitors: People suffering from chronic pain often really like visitors. Going for a gentle walk together can strengthen friendships. Check to make sure someone is up for a visit, but it is highly likely they will like it. Don’t stay away!
Flowers: In this circumstance, flowers are often appreciated and certainly can’t hurt. But make sure first that there isn’t a more pressing thing they need more. If not, a bouquet is a lovely gift.

Updates

Add unlimited updates to keep friends and family informed. This is a great way to share news of treatments, specific needs, surgical status (if applicable), and more.

Longer-term situations without a clear diagnosis are frustrating. Pain isn’t always obvious to people, and so patients are sometimes left out in their communities. It makes a big difference to people to be seen and attended to – without constantly asking for help. Because they don’t like to complain too much, they sometimes just don’t say much and stay at home. Letting them know that they are not forgotten is a huge gift in and of itself. Create your Give InKind Support Page here.

If you have any further questions, visit Give InKind’s Help Center or view our articles about chronic pain to learn more.

Updates

Add unlimited updates to keep friends and family informed. This is a great place for a designated page manager to keep family and friends up to date or for the recipient to “blog” or “journal” their experience.

Longer-term situations without a clear diagnosis are frustrating. Pain isn’t always obvious to people, and so patients are sometimes left out in their own communities. It makes a big difference to people to be seen and attended to – without constantly asking for help. Because they don’t like to complain too much, they sometimes just don’t say much and stay at home. Letting them know that they are not forgotten is a huge gift in and of itself. Create your Give InKind Support Page here.

If you have any further questions, visit Give InKind’s Help Center or view our articles about chronic pain to learn more.

How To Create A Give InKind Page for the Loss of a Spouse or Partner

Give InKind’s Care Calendar helps answer the central question of how to give or receive support. In this case, we consider how to set up a support page for someone who has recently experienced the death of a spouse or a partner.

Getting Started

Providing broad guidance about how to address the loss of a partner of a spouse is difficult. No two experiences will be the same. This guide is intended to serve only as a starting point from which individual family circumstances can be defined and addressed by members of their caring communities. Begin by identifying a close friend in a position to speak with the bereaved about what needs they have, and how their community can offer meaningful assistance (see a sample Give InKind Support Page for the loss of a spouse or partner here).

Care Calendar

The family situation of the surviving spouse will frame a starting point, depending on age of the deceased, children, and spouse. Use the Care Calendar to add as many actionable items that are needed to help care for the partner and family.

Food: Meals and groceries for the family are always among the most popular calendar items. Providing food tends to be of particular importance to a bereaved spouse with children still at home. Or, if an extended family has gathered to mourn the loss of matriarch or a patriarch. Consider whether there are any food allergies, preferences – or aversions. Are groceries necessary? If there are children, include healthy snacks in grocery or food drop-offs.
Childcare: (If applicable) If there are two or more children with different schedules, you can easily build that into the Care Calendar. A bereaved parent may need space to navigate new emotional and/or legal terrain. Sign-ups may include things like extracurricular activities, fun excursions, and more.
Adult/Senior Care: If the newly widowed partner/spouse is older, there may be additional support to take into consideration like prescription refills, rides to/from doctor appointments, or getting to/from church.
Pet Care: (If applicable) Are there pets to care for? It may be helpful to make temporary arrangments for necessary dog walks, feedings, or pet-sitting.
Home Services: From maintenance appointments, to house cleaning, to helping an older citizen with chores around the house, use this category for any home services that they may not be able or ready to handle on their own.
Other: “Other” is the ultimate catch-all category. This is a great way to create opportunities for connection that can sometimes get lost in the shuffle of a crisis. “Other” can be used for support like a prayer calendar or scheduled phone calls to check in on them if they’re not up for in-person visitors.

Fundraising

People will have different financial circumstances. If the deceased was a young person, likely, their savings were not established. If the deceased had children, some additional financial support may be needed. If the deceased leaves an older citizen, financial assistance can be used towards bills. If there is such a need, simply enable the fundraising button on your Give InKind page and connect your PayPal and/or GoFundMe account.

Wishlist

The Give InKind Wishlist is another opportunity for others to meaningfully support a person who lost their partner. Browse Give InKind’s curated list for suggested items that could help in their unique situation. When you see an item that could be helpful, use the “+” icon to add to their Wishlist.

You may also add an existing Amazon Wishlist to your Give InKind page.

Communication Preferences

Use Give InKind’s do-not-disturb section to let others know about the recipient’s communication preferences. Keep in mind that these preferences can be easily turned on or off as a situation changes.

Phone Calls: Does the recipient want to communicate with others? If so, what is the best way for others to reach out – a phone call or text? Asking about preferences lets them know they are being thought of even if they aren’t always up for talking.
Visitors: Does the recipient mind visitors or would they prefer some alone time? If so, use the Special Notes section to add visiting hours and any other details.
Flowers: Is the recipient open to receiving flowers, either at home or for a funeral/celebration of life service? Flowers represent different things to different people, so we recommend asking what their preference is.

Updates

Add unlimited updates to keep friends and family informed. If the surviving partner does not wish to communicate by phone or text, this is a great place to designate a third-party to act as the family spokesperson for updates.

The experience of grief and loss will be experienced in completely different ways by individual survivors. A support system helps to create a space for them to process their feelings. This is invaluable. Create your Give InKind Support Page here.

If you have any further questions, visit Give InKind’s Help Center or view our helpful articles about the loss of a partner or a spouse.

When a Spouse with Dementia Dies, the Most Essential Help Comes Before Death

How can you help in cases where illness with an uncertain timeframe is involved? The most important and sustaining help may come before the actual death of a spouse. See how a spritely young woman in her mid-eighties describes the death of her husband from complications of Alzheimer’s Disease.

Ed and I had a very long, loving relationship. The photographs of him all over our house remind me; his smile.

His was not a sudden death but rather, dementia that took him over 5 years. As I watched him disappear before me, there were wonderful people in our life who helped. When it became clear that Ed had Alzheimer’s Disease, I was totally open to asking for help. The help I received was transformative. The fact of having help and support made the last five years of Ed’s life difficult but not hopeless.

You ask about help when a spouse dies and I would say that the most essential help comes before the actual death.

The presence of caregivers enabled me to have some life, too. It’s a hard thing to describe – the impact of dementia. It’s not that it’s bad. But it’s negative. (It’s hard to describe). It’s hard to be in a house with someone whose needs are tremendous 24/7. I feel guilty even saying that. And guilty about all the things I could not do for him. I cannot imagine what this experience would have been without help.

Our parents’ generation did not talk about many hard things. My mother-in-law was a warm, strong woman who cared for her husband alone with dementia. I was once upstairs at their house and seeing Ed’s father in bed, I walked back downstairs to ask if he was all right. My mother-in-law said yes and that was it; nothing further to discuss. My mother, who was a registered nurse, didn’t say cancer, but whispered “CA.”

Our daughter and Ed had always shared a certain kind of humor, so there were the sideways glances and laughs at the joke they understood better than anyone else. But she lived 3000 miles away and that sharing diminished. Our son, who lived nearby, and I had watched as the 2 of them roared; raised eyebrows to each other and moved on. As Ed’s Alzheimer’s became more advanced, I needed our son’s help. I need his help in both physical and emotional terms. Ed threatened to walk out of the house and Win could stop him or convince him not to go. Ed also wandered and had to be found. We relied at nighttime on our local fire and rescue squad, co-workers of our son and daughter-in-law. Even when the sheriff’s deputies appeared first,
they helped to get Ed back in bed and made sure I was all right, all of this no matter the hour of the night.

Ed was a really pleasant man; Mr. Congenialty. Only rarely was he cross. The painful part was watching him drift away. Sometimes he knew who I was; sometimes he did not. We laughed about it at times, but it was hurtful. And exhausting.

The people who appeared to help with Ed were generous — volunteers from Rhinebeck at Home, our local eldercare assistance program. They walked with him up to his beloved Burger Hill — 3 teams, 3 days/week. Eventually paid staff who helped him shower and dress, come back to feed him dinner. In between, there was a wonderful man who walked with Ed at the Ashokan Reservoir, picked peaches upstate, and visited interminably. Weekends were harder to staff. Ed and I drove and drove the back roads of Clinton, Milan, Millbrook hour after hour.

The help from professional aides and our friends gave me the free time I needed. They were flexible and helpful. They offered help and did not feel rejected if it did not work for us.

After Ed died, it’s me in a house. There seems to be a lot of space. My children and grandchildren are a great support. My Seattle family offers FaceTime and my Red Hook family shares picnics.

I am myself, doing all right. I could never express the gratitude I feel towards all those who helped me during Ed’s illness because it made his death and my understanding of myself then and now, better.

See how you can support someone who has recently lost a partner or spouse by creating a Give InKind Support Page.

How To Create A Classroom Sign-Up Page on Give InKind

You’re here because you know just how much there is to coordinate in a classroom–from volunteers to parties to wishlists of needed items. We’re here to help! In this article, we’ll share how to create a classroom sign-up page on Give InKind, making organization a breeze and your teacher feel extra supported.

Getting Started

Start by working with class grown-up(s) who can liaise directly with the teacher. They’ll help gather schedules, classroom needs, and any items that can make the school experience smoother. Next, piece by piece, construct your Give InKind page (for a preview, check out a sample Give InKind Teacher Support Page here). You can include other important links in the Story or Special Notes sections, like your class’s Donors Choose page.

Wishlist

The Give InKind Wishlist is a unique chance for others to actively support the teacher and fulfill specific class requirements. Look through Give InKind’s curated lists for suggested items beneficial for the classroom’s needs. Whenever you spot something useful, just tap the “+” icon to add it to your Wishlist. Gift cards to Target, Walmart, and Amazon can often be found on classroom Wishlists.

You may also add an existing Amazon Wishlist to your Give InKind page. This could be especially helpful for teachers to communicate their specific needs.

Care Calendar

The Care Calendar is a powerful tool for allowing students’ grown-ups to easily sign up for various support tasks. This streamlined feature simplifies coordination and ensures everyone can pitch in to help. Here are some ways you can utilize the Care Calendar:

Classroom Volunteers: Parents and grown-ups can sign up for classroom volunteering slots, assisting with various activities and tasks.
Field Trip Signups: Organize adult chaperones for field trips, making these outings more enjoyable and manageable.
Special Party Supplies: Coordinate contributions for classroom parties, ensuring a fun and memorable experience for students.
Teacher Appreciation Week: Plan and organize gestures of appreciation for the teacher during this dedicated week.
And More: The Care Calendar is versatile–use it to manage any classroom needs or events that arise.

Fundraising

Does the PTA or school have a fundraising account to help with school projects? Simply enable the fundraising button on your Give InKind page and connect a PayPal, Venmo, CashApp, or GoFundMe account. Use the Special Notes section of the page to share instructions for making sure donated funds are allocated to a specific class. Some platforms require additional information for donating, such as the last four digits of the phone number associated with the account. Include this information in Special Notes for seamless fundraising.

Updates

Add unlimited updates to keep grown-ups and community members informed. Use the Updates to post high-level highlights about students, immediate class needs, or upcoming events. You may even include photos and links to YouTube and Vimeo-hosted videos in your updates.

Super-Power Your Support with a Classroom Sign-Up Page

Clearly expressing what is most helpful and being able to follow through on that support is a gift, both to the teacher, their students, their grown-ups, and the community. Create your Give InKind Teacher Support Page here.

If you have any further questions, visit Give InKind’s Help Center or view other helpful articles.

8 Mistakes To Avoid After the Death of a Loved One

Losing a loved one is extremely difficult — there’s no other way to say it. And the grieving process can be even more challenging if you are the person responsible for making funeral arrangements, carrying out the deceased’s last wishes, or sorting the things your loved one left behind.

While Lantern has resources to guide you through many of these responsibilities — from what to do in the first 24 hours after a death to how to give a eulogy — avoiding these eight common mistakes can also help ease the bereavement process.

No matter how lonely grieving can feel, you are not alone. So don’t feel obligated to take on all the tasks and emotions that come with the loss of a loved one on your own. Whether this means leaning on friends for emotional support or dividing up funeral planning tasks among family members, remember that the people around you who care for you will want to help and it’s important to practice self-care during this time.

Feeling pressured to make quick decisions.
When someone dies there are many decisions that may be time-sensitive, like whether or not to donate the deceased’s organs, but not every decision needs to be made quickly. Give yourself time to speak to different funeral providers and ask the questions you need to ask to feel comfortable using their services. In most states, hospitals will hold the body until you are ready to make arrangements, so don’t feel rushed to make a decision. Taking this time will also give you the chance to find out more about the funeral or memorial service your loved one wanted to have — if they wanted to have any at all.
Not budgeting.
Of course, you’ll want to give your loved one the goodbye they wanted and the one they deserve. But funerals can be expensive, and your loved ones may also have debts or bills that need to be settled out of their estate, so it’s helpful to assess your budget and work within that. Find out more about planning a funeral on a budget here.
Sorting through the deceased’s possessions without a system.
Organizing your own possessions can be a daunting task. Sorting through the possessions of someone you’ve recently lost can not only be emotionally difficult but can also pose a logistical challenge if you don’t know how they typically organized things.Instead of trying to sort through their possessions piece by piece or even room by room, try to sort items into categories such as: legal documents, items of personal value, and other valuables. By identifying these items and putting them together, you can start to create an organizational system that will help you later down the road. While it’s good to have help during this process, you may want to avoid giving away any of the deceased’s possessions, even to family members or the deceased’s close friends, until after you have found their will and contacted the executor and know the deceased’s explicit wishes
Forgetting to take care of household arrangements and tasks.
You don’t need to sort through your loved one’s possessions immediately or all at once — in fact, letting some time pass before you take on this task can be a good way to practice self-care. However, there are a few household items that you will want to deal with sooner rather than later; for instance, making care arrangements for any pets the person may have had and removing perishable items like food or plants from their home.
Not canceling credit cards and utilities, or stopping Social Security benefit payments.
If the deceased’s home is going to be unoccupied for an extended period of time, don’t forget to turn off the utilities and close any other accounts that might otherwise continue to accumulate charges, such as credit cards.If the deceased was receiving Social Security benefit payments before their death, it is crucial to notify the Social Security Administration of their death. Social security benefits end the same month that the beneficiary dies, and if the spouse or estate of the deceased receives a payment because the Social Security Administration was not notified, they are responsible for returning the money to the agency. Typically, a funeral home can report the death of your loved one to the Social Security Administration on your behalf (as long as they have the deceased’s social security number).
Making big financial decisions too soon.
You may want to hold off on making any big financial decisions right after losing a loved one, especially if that person was someone you relied on to handle your finances. It may take some time before you know what outstanding bills and debts the deceased’s had, so it’s a good idea to leave the deceased’s estate intact until you know what debts will need to be paid off and which ones will be canceled.In addition to speaking with an estate planner to better understand the financial implications of the deceased’s assets, it may be helpful to consult a financial advisor before making any big financial decisions like withdrawing your spouse’s IRA or selling a house, especially if the loss of your loved one has impacted your household income.
Not caring for yourself.
Remember to practice self-care. Grieving is a process, allow yourself to take the time you need and to create space for your emotions. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help when you need it, or to accept it when it’s offered.

Give InKind is honored to feature Lantern in this piece by Daniele Selby.

Give InKind July 2020 Updates

Our mission is to help you support your loved ones from anywhere. Check out the improvements we’ve been working on to continue to make Give InKind the best support platform.

Improved Food Ordering Experience: Ordering food from local restaurants in your loved one’s area just got easier. You are now able to schedule meal deliveries through GrubHub up to a week in advance when you claim a meal on the Care Calendar. Simply claim your date, select “Order from a local restaurant,” and copy/paste the recipient’s address to find their local favorites. Schedule meal deliveries up to a week in advance or receive email reminders to schedule their food train delivery if the claimed date is more than a week away.

Clickable Links in Description: We’ve now made links and email addresses in the Updates, Story, and Special Notes sections of your Give InKind page automatically clickable. Simply type or paste your link and click away! Learn more here.

Turn On/Off Send a Gift Box: No gifts? No problem. Page Organizers are now able to configure the “Send a Gift Box” button in Page Settings. If left on, this will allow your Page Supporters to send their love with one of Give InKind’s hand-curated Gift Boxes. Learn more here.

Improved Calendar Item Claim Experience: Being presented with too many choices upfront can be overwhelming. We’ve simplified this process to let you finish claiming calendar items before showing you gifting options.

In Case You Missed It

Give InKind Curated Gift Boxes: Give InKind has curated 6 themed gift boxes, perfect for those hard-to-shop-for occasions or when you just want to let someone know you’re thinking about them. Each box is filled with goodies, hand-packed with love, and includes a card with your message on it. Learn more here.

Updates: The Updates feature allows you to share the latest developments with your Page Supporters, post new requests or changes to needs. Include up to three photos or videos to help everyone in the support circle stay in the loop. Once posted, Supporters can be notified via email, Facebook, and Twitter. Learn more here.

Sneak Peak

An all new gift card purchase experience is almost here. We’re making it simple to send and receive gift cards directly from Give InKind.

Oh, and have you heard about CareFund by Give InKind? CareFund is a “digital gift card bank” where Page Supporters will be able to contribute funds. Page Recipients will then be able to use those funds towards any gift card of their choice listed in the CareFund gift card library. Stay tuned for details!

A Story of Surviving, Surgery, and Recovering from a 17-Foot Fall

While on a camping trip with her family, Alison Guss, a documentary filmmaker, fell 17 feet off a cliff and shattered her leg. This is Alison’s story of trauma, healing, and reflection and how her husband, Ric, helped her recover while managing their children.

I should preface by saying that Alison and Ric are very close friends of mine and my husband’s. After my own family suffered a loss, they remained resolute in their commitment to remain connected. I can attest to the fact that I did not make it easy, so busy was I punishing myself. And yet, every weekend Alison and Ric invited us to their dinner table (in retrospect, it might have been more a directive than an invitation). This is to say that they defeated my only superpower with their own kryptonite. So where I turned my magnetic pole in the direction that forces things away, they just kept coming at us with chili and roast chicken.

During my discussions with Alison I began to realize that there was so much she was leaving out. I wanted to spell things out in a way that would amplify her gifts. I wanted everyone to know how brave she has been in so many ways. I wanted to show her off. So what was originally intended as a first-person account ended up feeling better, to Alison, in an “as told” to kind of format. I am so proud to know her and her family and to be able to tell her story.

The Day of the Accident

I asked her to describe the day of the accident.

Alison recounted that it was a beautiful Memorial Day weekend, six or maybe seven years ago, while camping with her family in upstate New York she fell off a cliff into the Hudson River and shattered her leg. I asked when the accident had occurred and she hesitated, realizing that although she is a documentarian, she was unable to remember either the year of the accident or the bones she broke.

She could not resist, stepped away to find medical records but returned only with vaccination records. I told Alison that it was not important. I asked whether it was interesting to her that these details were mercurial. Did they, I wondered, shine a subtle spotlight on the effect of trauma? Alison sort of side-stepped the word “trauma,” and I note this here but won’t belabor the point.

The Circumstances

Continuing, Alison said that she, Ric, their daughters, and some friends decided an easy camping trip close to home would be fun. That afternoon, as they walked along a path that snaked a steep bank, they decided that stargazing close to this vantage point would be fun. Later, when they returned, the girls skipped slightly ahead of Alison. Being mindful of keeping them in sight, she stepped forward on the dusky path. It had been raining heavily that week. She stepped on a pile of wet leaves and abruptly lost her footing and fell about seventeen feet down a cliff into the Hudson River. The full force of her fall was absorbed by her right leg.

On impact in shallow water, Alison describes remembering things more or less in sequence. She describes managing to haul herself onto a boulder with her upper body strength Looking at her leg, she realized that the bone was protruding through the skin. She recalls remembering strange things about those early moments. She was angry that she had lost her glasses and could not see. She was not feeling pain – and wondered about that. She recalls taking her leg out of the river water and then putting it back in because she understood that if she looked closely, she would faint.

After the fall, the children ran back to the campground yelling to Ric that “Mommy fell.” He sent the kids to a ranger station to get help and clambered down where she had hauled herself out of the water. Holding her hand, they talked and kept calm. Shortly thereafter, Alison was rescued by a police boat. As she describes it, a hero EMT walked to her and picked her up. Alison remembers apologizing for interfering with his night. To this day, she recalls his response: “Ma’am, I was just watching terrible reality TV. This is the highlight of my night.”

At that moment, with medical care at hand, Alison remembers the searing pain blowing up.

The Hospital/Pre-Surgical Days

Alison was taken to a level one trauma center some distance from her home.

She remembers the early days after the accident as confusing. She was in a great deal of pain because surgery was not an option until the initial trauma had subsided and doctors were certain her leg was not infected. She remembers being scared. She remembers being lonely and recalls the food as terrible – see above for a reminder about the communal nature of food in her house.

The Hospital /Surgery & Post Op

After a week or so, she had surgery. She describes her mood as gradually improving. I asked why and she seemed to suggest it was a releasing of fear – that she would die of sepsis. The hardware in her leg seemed to signal the beginning of a recovery. She describes how she began to understand how incredibly lucky she was.

What Helped to Manage A Long Stay

Flowers were great. Alison remains grateful for the wonderful people who cared for her in the hospital but reminds that hospitals as institutions are ugly. For this reason, she developed an appreciation of flowers she had not had before. She found it incredibly touching to be remembered in this way and would rest her eyes on bouquets. She now sends flowers all the time. She notes that many pass, preferring something more “practical.” Others point out that flowers just die. While Alison understands these points, she can’t forget the beauty and the comfort of these mercies. She loved cards too.

Things to Engage the Brain. I asked what kinds of things helped keep her mind active (I can’t imagine Alison laid up for weeks because she is in constant motion). She pondered this and ultimately said that anything that breaks up the monotony of a long recovery where one is immobilized, I asked if Spotify gift card or an audiobook subscription would have been fun. “Yes!” said she. (Editor’s note: In this vein, Netflix viewing parties could be fun too.)

Games and Things. Alison remembers an old friend who sent a box of puzzles and Mad Libs. Mad Libs are fun when your kids visit. They are actually fun when anyone visits. I can definitely see that for Alison, Boggle would be much better than too much binge-watching TV and painkillers (Target gift card, hint, hint).

Things That Put You Together. Alison remembers a friend coming to wash her hair and finding it to be such a loving and even kind of intimate comfort. She reminded me that the last time her hair was wet it was river water. So this felt especially cleansing.

Discharge from Hospital and Helpful Things

Because of an adequate support network, Alison was discharged from the hospital and permitted to skip in-patient rehabilitation. She and Ric recall being surrounded by friends, family, and neighbors. Their school-age daughters were provided too numerous to mention offers of help and assistance.

Alison and Ric were also grateful for the food that arrived. This was very useful because Ric was managing all the household responsibilities that don’t slow down when your wife is debilitated

Ric mentioned that rides offered to Alison to medical appointments were deeply valued. He added that “fun” excursions were equally helpful in a different way, such as to lunch or a movie (sometimes these were combined with a doctor’s appointment pick-up). Is this technically non-essential? Yes. Is it incredibly helpful anyway? Also yes. He calls these things encouragements to recover.

The Takeaway

When Alison reflects, she leads with what she calls the “positives.” She told me the doctor said it was a miracle that she kept her leg. She carefully considers that miracle, accepting it mindfully. She lives with a daily intention to try to help other people. She tells me that she understands physical limitations in a way she had not before. She sees this kind of empathy as a gift that has changed her. Her fortune at being here, at having recovered, and have regained health (with occasional pain too), is not lost on her.

If you or someone you know is recovering from surgery, see how to create a Give InKind Support Page for them.

How To Create a Give InKind Page to Support a Stroke Patient & Family

Give InKind’s Care Calendar helps answer the central question of how to give or receive support. In this case, how to set up a support page for someone who has suffered a stroke and also for the members of their family.

Getting Started

Choose a close friend or family member who can sit down with a primary caregiver and the patient (if the patient is well enough). Together, work to identify the areas where support is most necessary. [See a sample Stroke Give InKind page here].

Care Calendar

For people who have suffered a stroke, identifying the immediate needs of the patient and their family is critical. If they have children at home, consider placing emphasis there. If the patient is older, consider the needs of a spouse or partner too. You can add as many items to the Care Calendar as necessary.

Food: Across the board – meals and groceries for the family are always among the most popular calendar items. Has their doctor recommended a different diet because of the stroke? Does the family have any dietary restrictions or preferences? Is anyone allergic to anything? Do they prefer home-cooked, takeout, and/or frozen meals? What are their favorite restaurants (and corresponding meals)?
Childcare: If applicable, if there are two or more children with different schedules, you can easily build that into the Care Calendar.
Adult / Senior Care: If the recipient is older, take into consideration things like rides to doctor’s appointments, in-home check-ins, or prescription refills. If there is an older spouse at home, think about what they might need help with with a partner out of commission.
Pet Care: Are there pets to care for? Arrange necessary (multiple) daily dog walks, or think about doggy daycare. Are there litter boxes to change?
Home Services: Add calendar events for a friend or family member to be there for a long-scheduled home appointment (such as a repair), house cleaning, or everyday chores (like yard work).
Other: “Other” is the ultimate catch-all category. This is a great way to create opportunities for connection that can sometimes get lost in the shuffle of a crisis. For those who live far away, schedule a FaceTime date or Netflix watch party. Prayer calendars are also a great way to organize continued to support to let them know that people are thinking of them. Anything that needs to continue to happen but could be inadvertently neglected can go here.

Fundraising

The unexpected costs associated with recovery from a stroke may quickly add up. There are multiple car trips back and forth to hospitals, medical appointments, rehabilitation, etc. There may be lost income. Invariably, there are hospital costs not covered by insurance. If there is such a need, simply enable the fundraising button on your Give InKind page and connect your PayPal or GoFundMe account.

Wishlist

The Give InKind Wishlist is another opportunity for others to meaningfully support a stroke patient and their family. Browse Give InKind’s curated list for suggested items that could help in their unique situation. When you see an item that could be helpful, use the “+” icon to add to your Wishlist.

You may also add an existing Amazon Wishlist to your Give InKind page.

Communication Preferences

Use Give InKind’s do-not-disturb section to let others know about the parent’s communication preferences. Keep in mind that these preferences can be easily edited as a situation evolves.

Phone Calls: How does the caregiver or Page Recipient like to communicate – a phone call or a text? Sometimes speech may be temporarily affected by stroke. Other times, not. We respectfully remind you that no two strokes are the same. Oftentimes, families remind us that they prefer questions to be asked. The impulse to make assumptions, no matter how well-intended, may sometimes be misplaced. “His loss of language did not mean he was any less a grown-up with adult feelings, experiences, worries, and problems,” wrote Diane Ackerman on the subject of her husband’s stroke. This is a gentle reminder that the vulnerability of a stroke patient does not change their strength and pre-existing fundamental competence.
Visitors: Are visitors allowed in the hospital (or do the parents even want them)? If so, use the Special Notes section to add visiting hours and any other details.
Flowers: People have different feelings about flowers. Some people love them and others don’t as much. Hospitals may have different rules about accepting flowers in a patient’s room, so it’s a good idea to ask about this.

Updates

Add unlimited updates to keep friends and family informed. This is a great place to designate a third-party to act as the family spokesperson if necessary.

Clearly expressing what is most helpful and being able to follow through on that support is a gift that offers lasting benefits. It is hard to begin difficult conversations, but once begun they tend to get easier. It’s a sort of remarkable thing. Create your Give InKind Support Page here.

If you have any further questions, visit Give InKind’s Help Center or view our helpful articles about supporting stroke patients and their families.

10 Tips for Getting Resume Ready for Your Job Search

Job hunting is an activity that never seems to get easier. Competing against others for a new opportunity can be a daunting task, especially in a crowded market. With the impact of COVID-19 on employment, standing out among a growing field of applicants is more important than ever.

To give yourself the best chance of grabbing a potential employer’s attention, you have to think about yourself in a new way. Forget about seeing yourself as a person with a set of skills. You must see and promote yourself the way the most successful companies do – by showing your target audience that you are what they are looking for; that you are someone who not only knows how to do a job but how to do it well with features and benefits they can’t do business without. The best way to present your standout skills and separate yourself from the pack is to submit a killer resume.

Once upon a time, a resume was simply an introduction, a statement of your career objective, and a history of your employment with a nod to your specific skill set. Now, that is simply not enough. With the world of work focused on personal branding and innovative self-promotion, your resume needs to make an even stronger impression. Here are 10 things to focus on when you put together the resume that will make your phone ring:

1. Make It an Easy Read

Choose a layout that is clean, contemporary, and well-formatted. Set your margins and spacing to create a balance of text and white space. Use bullets to break up longer paragraphs, and add minimal design elements like lines and shading to give the document visual interest. Use these elements only to break sections, as too many embellishments can become distracting. Avoid using graphics and pictures unless the industry or potential employer requests a design-oriented presentation.

2. Keep It Simple

Your resume is not an autobiography. If you use more than two pages to try and gain the interest of an employer, you risk losing them before they finish page one. Your story should start strong and be supported by facts. It is very rare for a potential employer to read an entire resume; instead, they will scan it to find the qualifications they are looking for. You have mere seconds to impress them, so make every word count!

3. Lead with a Great Headline

The most successful publications in the world know that the key to making people stop and read their stories is to lead with a powerful headline, that will catch a reader’s attention and make them want to know more. Title your resume with a concise description of you as a professional, using the adjective that best describes you overall: “DEDICATED & EXPERIENCED BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT PROFESSIONAL”

4. Use Your Profile to Grab Their Interest

Resume writing standards have evolved quite a bit over the last 10 years. One of the major parts of the resume that was considered an absolute must was the objective. The first item of business after writing your name, address, and phone number was to state your goal for finding this job. Unfortunately, objectives did little to help the applicant and were eventually considered by employers to be a time-waster, because they were simply too vague. With only seconds allotted to each resume, lines like “to secure an opportunity that will allow me to apply my skills and advance with a growing organization“, doesn’t tell an employer why they should want to give you a call.

The most effective use of the space on your resume and the employers’ time is a profile. This five to seven line statement is an overview of who you are and why you are the best at what you do. This is an opportunity to sell yourself before you get into the details. It is also a great way to customize your resume because you can add statements that match the qualifications in the job listing. A strategically written profile statement is a powerful tool.

5. Use a Custom Skills List

After your profile, a skills list tells potential employers exactly what you know how to do. This can be a combination of processes and tools. This is a space where you highlight those things that you have the most expertise in. It is also a chance to optimize your resume, which is very similar to the way companies optimize their websites with keywords. List skills that you are proficient in that also match the desired qualifications for the job. Remember your resume is a living document, so you will likely make adjustments to your skills list often to make it as effective as possible.

6. Tell the Truth About Technology

No matter how much you want or need a job, overselling your skills can find you in some very challenging and often embarrassing situations. If an employer is calling for a specific set of skills or proficiency in certain software, avoid the temptation to say you know something you don’t. If you are not highly proficient in a skill but have a comfort level using it for work, describe it accurately, using terms such as “working knowledge”. Job listings will typically indicate what level of proficiency they require in various areas. Match your skills to those opportunities so that you are comfortable representing yourself, even if you are tested in an interview.

7. Keep Your History Accurate, Relevant, and Concise

Your employment history is your opportunity to show off your background. The path your career has followed will determine if you want to highlight how long you stay with a company, how rapidly you rose in a company, or how well you performed in one role. Ask yourself what you are proudest of about each job you have held, and use your resume as a chance to draw an employers’ attention to that. If you want an employer to see that you rose to a leadership role in a short amount of time, list your job titles in bold, or state that you advanced from Customer Service Associate to Manager in just two years.

8. Use Power Words to Tell Them How Well You Did Your Job

When describing your jobs, it is not enough to just describe what you did with action words. Your resume is your chance to tell the world how good you are at what you do. Stating that you “Managed a team of 10 Sales Reps” is not as impactful as stating that you “Successfully grew a high-performing team of Sales Representatives that exceeded established quotas for four consecutive quarters.” You must ask yourself what you did well in every job, and use powerful adjectives to share that with employers. A separate section of accomplishments, listing awards you won, deals you orchestrated, or costs savings you were responsible for, can place you miles ahead of your competition.

9. Use Education to Push Your Professionalism

Your education section should provide details on your higher education and any professional development activities you completed that are relevant to your field. If you list your college, be sure to formally state the type of degree you earned. If you have not completed school, list your anticipated graduation date, and relevant coursework. Professional development is all the rage these days, so be sure to list those leadership, safety, time management, and other courses you completed, even if you completed them at your previous place of employment. Be careful not to overshare – no need to add your crocheting classes or your certificate in ballroom dance, unless you’re applying for a job as a dance instructor.

10. Seek a Second Set of Eyes

Even if you feel like your resume is a masterpiece, and you have applied every tip included in this article, always ask someone else to review your resume. When we write, we often don’t see errors, and we can’t see our resume through the eyes of another person. Ask a friend or colleague, or your mentor, to read the resume and identify those things that would make them call you or not call you. The feedback you receive can help you make important changes before you hit the market.

No matter what type of resume you write, or how much you love it, it will never be finished – and that’s the beauty of it! As we continue to work, we continue to learn and develop. As your career or education advances or when you mark a great accomplishment, take a moment to add that item. Your resume is the place where you share your career trajectory, and tell your professional story to the world.

If you or someone you know needs additional support during their unemployment journey, learn how to do so here.

Supporting Friends and Family Through Job Loss

This has been a tumultuous year for a lot of people. As a result, they’re struggling to make ends meet. If your friends or family are in that situation, what are some ways you can make a difference?

It’s easy to feel helpless since you can’t offer a full-time job or a large amount of money to help them get through. However, there are a lot of things you can do – and coordinating with others multiplies your impact.

Here are some ideas for supporting friends and family through job loss.

Consider Your Loved One’s Needs

It’s easy to think that money is the most significant need for someone that loses their job, but the truth is more complex. Not all problems can be solved with money, and there’s a lot more to being a supportive friend than a check.

Think about your friend or family member’s current situation. What do they need? Start with the basics – food, shelter, and clothing – and then think bigger. Make a list. This list will help you decide how you can make a difference.

You might create a Give InKind page and use the Care Calendar for things like child care, transportation to interviews or doctor’s appointments, or even simply a visit. There could be house cleaning or home repair needs, yard care, and more. Or you can offer emotional support and a listening ear as well.

People who lose a job often need time and space to grieve. Don’t be too eager to offer new ideas right away – instead, listen and make a note of their actual needs right now.

Organize a Gift Card Shower

While many people aren’t able to donate a huge amount of money to a loved one who is without work, you can often do something smaller. However, a little thing multiplied by many people can make a big difference.

When someone is having a birthday, a friend often organizes a “card shower” where friends from all over mail birthday cards to help them feel loved. Why not do the same with a gift card shower?

You can even coordinate it virtually. Think about what kinds of gift cards make the most sense – gasoline cards, gift cards to a favorite grocery, and things of that nature. You can even throw in a few restaurant gift cards to make going out more feasible for those on a low budget. Get their friend’s email address and tell others to email their gift cards and well wishes.

Having a lot of gift cards to useful places will make a big difference to your loved one in a time of need.

Use a Care Calendar for Rides and Childcare

If you want to offer actionable help to your friend or family member, you might think about offering rides to interviews or appointments or even helping with childcare. This is another area where working with others can multiply your efforts.

Use a Care Calendar on GiveInKind to set up slots for friends and associates to sign up for. Whether it’s scheduling a weekly meal delivery, arranging childcare, or organizing transportation, having a calendar with open slots allows everyone to pitch in.

GiveInKind allows you to create a page for free, and you’ll have access to situation-specific content and suggestions for your calendar. It’s easy to set up and simple to invite others to join you.

Spend Time With Your Loved One

Sometimes just being present is the biggest gift you can give. Invite your friend or relative out for coffee, for dinner, or over to visit. Allow them to speak their mind – about their job situation, or something completely different.

You may also be able to find events to attend together that you’d both enjoy, from a wine-and-paint to a concert. Giving them some social time to get their mind off their pressures may be precisely what they need to rebound and land on their feet.

The key is not to automatically go into problem-solving mode about finding new work until they’re ready. Many people need time to decompress after a job loss, and it takes them a while to think about what they may want to do next.

When They’re Ready, Help Them Find New Work

After a period of decompression and evaluation, your friend or family member will be ready to start looking for work again. Don’t rush them, but be available to help when it’s time.

You might be part of conversations helping your loved one decide what’s next. Do they want to return to the same career or move into a new field? Do they need more formal education, or can they get a certificate or learn on the job?

If you have the skills, help them revamp their resume and coach them about introductory emails and cover letters. If not, connect them to someone who does or point them toward a career center in your area.

Are you going to any networking events soon? Or do you know of any happening in your area? Connect your loved one to these events and help with introductions if you can. You may also have access to discounts on software or other services that would be a big help to your friend as they look for work.

Job searching can be exhausting, so be sure you provide support without hounding your friend about their every move. When you get together, don’t be surprised if your loved one wants to talk about anything but the job search. Be prepared to have fun in a variety of ways.

Being Supportive is All About Thoughtfulness

Someone who is going through a job loss is under a lot of stress and needs friends and family to rally around them. When you use the suggestions in this article, you can make a big difference even if you don’t have a lot of spare money.

In the end, it’s much more about thoughtfulness, support, and camaraderie than money. And when things get better, they’ll remember you as someone who walked closely with them through a difficult time.